as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
