i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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