Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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