Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
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