I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
