I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I want to fling myself into the sun
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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