after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
