I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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