i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I deserve this hangover.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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