FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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