The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
