nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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