also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
