I didn't shave. On purpose
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
