All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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