the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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