Non-Jews are for practice
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
