he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
