My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
