I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
