i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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