My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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