I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize