Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
