my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
