One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I believe in your delicious
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
