i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
