After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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