I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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