last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
