i just wanna soil my oats bro
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
