This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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