Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
