Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize