VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Never joke about your clitoris.
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