thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Randomize
