I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
