If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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