Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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