just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize