I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
