I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
