the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize