I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
