Can Purell be used as lube?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
