hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
