You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'm bleeding and have questions
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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