I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
