thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
high people should be assigned attendants
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Randomize
