If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
