I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
