Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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