Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I had to cum in my sink.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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