i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
