Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
