no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize