I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
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