weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
