Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
