If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
