So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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