Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
